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The Chronicles of I
Monday, May 5, 2008
7:47PM - Chocolate Milk
There are not many things I enjoy more in life than a nice, cold, chocolate milk. I have one almost every morning to start my day at work.
I remember visiting Liam in Montreal with Jess a long time ago, we walked around an awful lot. It was my first time actually seeing the city. We must have stopped at a cafe at least half a dozen times during that visit. A nice cup of coffee, tea, or anything with espresso can be nice, but if given the choice I'd almost always go with a hot chocolate. I don't remember if they made an issue of it or if I did on my own, but I felt young and immature with my hot chocolate while they drank their cappuccinos or lattes. I was probably seventeen or eighteen at the time, and now at twenty-one I think I'd still order the hot chocolate.
It was probably just me making a fuss about it, I can't imagine anyone attempting to belittle me for drinking hot chocolate, even in jest.
Work has been going well. There only problem is that the other cook hogs the cook help. The cook helps job is to do basic prep for the cooks, but primarily to make sure the buffet is full. So as we make the dishes, the cook help runs them back and forth.
The other cook hogs the cook help and has them do a number of the recipes for her.
She's been there forever and is in charge of the kitchen, so complaining wouldn't really do anything. The reason I have this job during the day in the first place is because the cook who used to work the shift couldn't stand working with her anymore. When I was cook help, I innocently did the recipes for her as well... but the difference is that I had the initiative to put everything down for a minute to check on the buffet. The other cook helps don't seem to do that.
I really don't want to complain...
There are days when I get really frustrated, nothing major, just... it seems like everything is going wrong and it really gets to me. I don't want that to happen anymore. Thursday and Friday of last week were pretty miserable but I managed to keep my chin up, so I'll have to keep it up.
I don't want it to seem like this wasn't the case during the evening, it was the same, I just never complained about it. Now is my time to vent :-P.
In other news I think I weigh the least I have in the past few years, but I have reason to believe it's a healthy weight all the same.
I'm sitting at 150lbs (fully clothed), but really, I feel great. I ride my bike to and from work every day. I go to the gym every other day. I don't feel like my body is exhausted or anything. Honestly, I feel pretty darn healthy.
One last comment.
Last week while playing basketball at the gym, there was a guy about my age, a bit shorter, but a bigger build... I was completely out-rebounding him and kicking his ass in the paint (the key/the area closest to the net) and when a teammate called him out for getting his ass kicked (by me) his response was "He's too strong."
... ...
I don't think at any point in my entire life has anyone EVER said that about me. I mean, I'm no weakling, but that made my day.
chipperWednesday, April 30, 2008
1:10AM - Foosball
I think I intended to write about it on livejournal but I don't know if I actually did... (and am too tired to check)
In any event, on St. Patricks day I went to a small bar called the Last Temptation, they had a free foosball table, and there was a lot of competition. I destroyed everyone except this one guy who actually scored a few against me. We seemed to get along fairly well, and in a drunken rage he announced that "In six weeks we'll play again!!" Six weeks from then was today and he didn't show up. I actually forgot about it until my co-worker (who was there) Chris mentioned it to me today.
He was probably too afraid.
In any case, Alex, Marisa and I went to the bar and played a bunch of games and drank beer. Alex was by far the better player tonight though, he won probably 4 of 5 games (the last game was only to 5, but I won that). Marisa showed some interest as well so we'll all have to keep an eye on her as she climbs the foosball ranks (seriously, she has Alex and myself to train her. She'll be a God in no time). Alex beat the owner of the establishment twice straight, the second of which he made a huge comeback. I think he was down 8-4 or somewhere around there. I was really proud of him when he ended up winning.
I have to go to bed now. It's late and I work tomorrow.
G'Night, sweet dreams.
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
7:23PM - Tuesdays
I've basically become a vegetarian. Well, I suppose that isn't true. Being a vegetarian implies that you've made a conscious decision to not eat meat. I've stopped eating meat only because it's convenient enough not to. For those of you who don't know (which shouldn't be any of you -_-), I work as a cook at a vegetarian restaurant. I basically get two meals a day, and I grab some extra food for takeout when I have days off coming up.
I've been there for a year now and have gone through phases of which food I like best, but right now, an average meal for me there consists of two pieces of ginger tofu, slice of pizza (or spring roll, or tortilla, depends on what I make that day), a bit of Chinese or Caesar salad, and a bit of the chickpea salad (which is basically chickpeas, olive oil, mint leaves, tumeric... and I don't know what else... the cold cook makes it). It's not 'satisfying' in a bloated stomach kind of sense, but maybe that's for the better? I do feel full afterwards, and I suppose that's a fairly balanced diet (I have normally have a glass or two of orange juice as well).
The reason for my entry-title is that Tuesdays break that habit. As a full moon changes a man to wolf, Tuesdays turn me into the monster that I truly am.
There is a deal at KFC. They call it Toonie Tuesdays. It's two dollars for two pieces of chicken and fries.
I normally get that... and then a chicken burger... more fries... and a large Pepsi.
(side note: I was actually going to conclude this entry with an inspiring piece about how I am not going to go get my KFC today! I will not eat that gross, disgusting product!! ... but while typing the last paragraph it just sounds so delicious... ah well, maybe next tuesday)
In other news, I was playing basketball today for a few hours and someones knee hit me between the legs. He came at me with an insane amount of force and I just stood there and took it. He actually didn't hit me in the 'groin' he was about two inches to the side and now I have a massive bruise... honestly, if he had hit my in the testicles, they probably would have exploded. I'd be in the hospital right now crying over the fact that I won't ever be able to have children.
Quick observation that annoyed the fuck out of me:
While on break That Don't Impress Me Much by Shania Twain was playing on the restaurant radio. It's not exactly the most powerful song of all time, but the general idea expressed in the song is a good one. By my understand at least, it's about how it doesn't matter how cool you are, how attractive you are, how smart you are, it's about who you are, how special you are as a person... (Maybe nothing impresses her? Maybe that's the point?) anyway, the line "Okay, so you're a rocket scientist. That don't impress me much" played and there was a couple (or friends?) sitting down eating and the guy said something like "This song always pissed me off. What's wrong with being a rocket scientist? She's probably only into rockstars and bad boys." Or... well, something to that effect.
... the reason that pissed me off so much is because he didn't even listen to the rest of the song, only that one line. Throughout the song she specifically mentions how rockstars don't impress her much either. He just made a blind statement despite the fact that all he had to do was listen to be shown otherwise.
He's a regular, and now I'll always think of him as a prick.
Saturday, April 12, 2008
11:10PM - Here and there
Something that pisses me off:
I ride my bike pretty quick, it's pretty rare for someone to pass me... but almost every time I zoom by someone and am stopped at the next light, they go back in front of me at the light when they catch up. When the light turns green I just have to go around them again (which can be tricky if there are cars driving all over the place). It's not like I wait far from the line or anything at lights either, I'm either on the line or ahead of it... but people always go in front of me. I really don't understand it.
Musical eliticism really annoys me. That's all I have to say about that.
Something I dreamed about:
I was back in high school, my senior year, Alex Charlton was with me (he probably failed, that's so like him). I decided I was going to join the football team (which I actually did, but I only actually played in one game, it was too much for my leg). All was going well, and I coaxed Alex to join with me. They started him at safety which he excelled at, until they realized that he was way stronger than he looked, so he ended up at outside linebacker and he was a super all-star. He actually started to like it himself. He was getting all into it, he loved playing football :-P.
There is a new guy at my work:
He seems pretty cool. His name is Yuki. When Dustin found out someone named Yuki was starting, who was twenty years old, he got all exciting thinking it would be some hot Japanese chick... turns out to be a half Japanese guy. He barely speaks Japanese at all though. The other half is German. His mother is a second generation Jap who lived in Germany her whole life. He seems pretty cool. Unfortunately with my switch to the morning shift I will never see him. Ah well. Maybe he's a prick anyway ;).
Why I haven't been to the gym:
It's been almost two weeks now. Three weeks ago I had a pretty rough cold, it lasted a bit over a week, and when I was feeling better I went. I haven't been since. Before that I had been going three times a week for a month and a half. The habit was broken, now I'll have to work to re-establish it. I still ride my bike to work every day (despite the fact that it's been rainy and gross the past few days), so that's something at least.
I think that's it for now.
G'Bye.
Friday, April 11, 2008
12:05PM - Geeze
I got another big raise today.
Maybe it's because they were doing a staff evaluation and realized how kickass I am?
Maybe it's because of the move to the day shift (which I feel is more of a lateral movement than anything else)?
Maybe it's because with all the recent turnover at my work they really can't afford to lose more staff?
There are all sorts of potential reasons... but basically, I got another dollar raise.
I'm making $11.75/h now.
You know how whenever you're doing a survey and it asks for income, the lowest option is Under $20000? Well, before taxes, I now make over that! No longer the lowest option for me!!
When I got the raise I just kind of laughed and asked my self if they even realize how many raises they've given me. I've had like, six in the past year. Not that I'm complaining, but I'm half expecting them to call me into the office and take it back :-P.
Anyway, have a nice day everyone.
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
11:40PM - Bullets
Throughout the day there were a number of things that came to mind that I wanted to write about. I don't really have the patience to remember them all and put them in any kind of cohesive order... so it'll probably be closer to a bullet point type entry.
There has been a lot of change at work lately. Off the top of my head there are six new staff members, and they're not even done yet. It's strange when work friends leave the job. A work friend is a pretty unique position to hold in someones life. They're people you deal with every day, you get along with them well, but haven't really crossed the line to becoming friends... but at the same time, they are people who are just as important to your well being as your actual friends. You have to deal with them for a significant portion of your life, and how well you get along with them influences how happy you'll be for that time.
Nancy, one of my closest work friends is leaving for a few months in two weeks. She'll be missed.
In other work news, my work schedule is going to be changing pretty dramatically. As in... completely.
Currently I work Wednesday-Sunday evenings. Which unfortunately means I work both Friday and Saturday nights, which has been a pain. But starting next week I'm going to be working Monday-Friday, during the day. The two cooks who work during the day have been feuding for a while now, so Tenzing, the daytime hot cook is switching to the evenings, and I'll have the day.
There are so many pros and cons that I couldn't even really begin to weigh them, but the most important factors are that during the night I can eat as much free food as I'd like. During the day, I'm limited to a specific amount. At night there is less pressure since management is rarely around. The staff members whose company I like most have always been split between day and night, so that's not an issue. Lastly, I'll have a normal sleeping pattern again, and I'll actually have Friday and Saturday nights free. How freaking sweet is that? I haven't had either of those nights free since... November-ish?
It was really windy on the ride home from work today. It's been windy in the past, but not anything like this. The wind would practically stop my forward momentum. At time it felt like I was riding my bike in a swimming pool or something. Really though, it wasn't even THAT windy, just the windiest I've ever had to ride though. I wasn't expecting wind to be such an obstacle. Maybe I need to focus on being more aerodynamic? I'll cut through the wind!
Maybe I should just learn to fly home?
I've been doing a lot of thinking about my living situation. In the next few months Alex and Marisa will be moving to Montreal so that'll leave me to fend for myself. There is another couple here in Toronto who I've become pretty decent friends with, Chris and Kristin, and we've been talking about finding a place together. The problem is that they need to find an apartment by May 1st. They really like the apartment I live in now, so what they're going to try to swing is finding a place without a lease, or some kind of temporary agreement, and live there until Alex and Marisa move out. Then they will move in here. That would be great for me since I wouldn't have to go anywhere. The likelyhood of that all working out though isn't too great, so we'll have to cross our fingers.
I even offered to pay a whole months rent in this apartment by myself if they wouldn't be able to move in until a month after Alex and Marisa leave. I figure in the long run that would be better for me anyway. Living here, rent is $400+internet+phone+hydro, but if I were to find another apartment for myself I'd probably be paying closer to $600 (if I was lucky)+all that crap.
I've also considered the option of moving into a room in someone else's house. That would probably be the cheapest way to do it... but of course that could end HORRIBLY. It would certainly be an adventure though and I wouldn't mind that at all.
I'm sure there was more, but that'll be it for tonight.
G'Night.
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
2:02AM - Update
I've been battling a cold for the past two weeks. I've felt pretty drowsy and grumpy because of it, but I've finally started to get over it.
Also, I've had eczema on my hands for about 6 months now. It came out of nowhere and completely destroyed the backs of my hands. I got some new cream for it though and now it's practically gone. They looked pretty disgusting for a while though.
The weather is perfect right now by the way. To me, the perfect weather is when you can comfortably wear a sweater, but it's not absolutely necessary. I've never really been one to enjoy the weather since weather and I so rarely get along... but I want this temperature to stay. For some reason though I have this feeling that winter is just around the corner. I don't remember ever having it in Springs' past, but this year I just keep finding myself thinking that I better enjoy it since the cold is just around the corner... Heh, the heat that actually is coming 'round the bend is a far worse thought....
Last night I had a dream where I was a victim in a school shooting.
Most of my dreams tend to focus on visuals. Maybe it's from all the movies I've seen, but often there are one or two shots in a dream that I remember so perfectly because visually it's just such an impressive shot. This dream took place during the twilight hours and when it was announced that there was a shooter in the school all the lights turned off and from the outside, these blinding white lights turned on. There were long shadows cast everywhere, and the contrast between the black and white was so extreme.
I've always fancied myself to be a hero in situations like that... but in the dream, I never had a chance to be a hero. Couldn't even get close enough.
I died right before waking up as per usual.
mellowSunday, March 30, 2008
10:42PM - Thank you old man
On my ride to work this morning I caught up to this old black man who was cruising along on a moped. He wasn't going very fast and I was about to pass him, but once I got close enough I heard him blasting some nice, relaxing, reggae. It was a nice casual ride. I just sat there behind him listening to the music. Thanked him for it once I got to the street I turn off on.
It made my day.
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
12:45AM - Bleh...
I figured I'd start off by stating that I'm ridiculously drunk.
Drunk to the point where these first two sentences took five minutes to type...
It's been a while since I've posted, so I figured it's about time.
This will take a while to type coherently, so if there are any mistakes, give me a break.
The day started off with a trip to my grandparents for an Easter dinner. My father wasn't able to make it unfortunately which at face value is a shame... but really, that was great. Easter has always consisted of heavy drinking, and when my father is connected with heavy drinking, things go bad. But fortunately my father was not able to make it, so the dinner consisted of me, my fathers parents, and one of my fathers brothers (my uncle). I think I had 6 or 7 beers through the meal, so I was pretty heavily gone by the time I left.
The reason I left early (around 5:00pm) was because Nick (a former member of the band I was temporarily in when I moved here) was playing a show downtown. So I went there... drank more...
There style of play is similar to A Perfect Circle (which is one of my favorite bands) except they sounded more generic (God bless spell check... Circle took about eight attempts to spell correctly). Their bassist looks a lot like Jeff by the way. So Jeff.... wear an Oakleys toque on your head and age about... five years and you'll look pretty darn cool...
Anyway, the problem I had with the bad was A) Nick doesn't make a very good front man (he's the singer) and B) although I enjoy their music, after an entire set it really sounds repetitive.
The reason why that's important is because a lot of my music is influenced by A Perfect Circle, and after listening to their set of music I'm worried that anything I create would become equally repetitive.
Anyway, after that show Adam (a friend) and I went to a bar called the James Joyce (or however it's spelled). We met some guys there who are on tour from the West Coast (Vancouver) who are in a band called Spy Girl, who I'll be looking up once I finish this post. We played a dozen games of pool with them, it was lots of fun. There was also a Punching Bag type machine at the place where it measures the strength of your punch. I'm a strong kid but I've never really crossed the line to FREAKISHLY strong or anything, but I broke the record on the machine. A lot of people came close to my record, but no one could beat it. Adam, who is pretty much twice my weight was the closest. So watch out, if you get punched by me you'll probably explode.
A few side notes:
I've been riding my bike to work every day. When I calculate it, that saved me over $100 every month considering TTC fare. It's been good.
I've also re-tooled my basketball shot since I've been a member at the YMCA. My shot didn't have as much of an arc as I'd ideally like to have, so I've spent many hours putting more of an arc on it, which increases it's chance of going in which is good.
I've also been lifting a lot of weights and stuff, so I'm strong like bull.
I'm going to stop now though as well. My stomach feels kind of gross. Drinking is bad.
Sweet dreams all. Buhbye.
-- Evan
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
1:25PM - I want to ride my bicycle,
I want to ride my bike.
I'm going to ride my bike. Today.
A few weeks ago I psyched myself up for riding my bike to work... then it snowed, and it has continued to snow. I tried psyching myself up against last night, but then it started snowing. It seems to have mostly melted now though, so today is the day.
I've been reading about bicycle safety tips. Tips from people with experience and are able to warn you about things you might not have considered to be a threat. I now know of many more dangers in riding my bike, although I'm better prepared to face them now. I bought a lock today, although I'm planning to keep my bike in the restaurant for safe-keeping. It's still too shiny. I wouldn't feel comfortable leaving it outside.
The bike rack type things are right outside of my restaurant so there shouldn't really be too much of a problem, but if it were stolen my first day riding it I'd probably cry.
I'm going to take a bit of a detoured route for now until I get more comfortable on the beast (the bike is HUGE by the way, I'm big enough to master it, but it will take some time to tame). Detour in mind, I really have no idea how long it will take me to get to work. I have no problem showing up early for work, I frequently do so that I can hang out with the people from the morning shift before I start work, but with my bike I'll probably be showing up a little earlier than usual for the next little while.
... I wonder if it would be necessary for me to lock the bike even when I keep it in the restaurant...
excitedWednesday, March 5, 2008
11:11PM - Inspiration: Moby
I haven't posted in a while. I haven't really been inspired to write despite having a few new thing occur in my life. Moby has given me inspiration though.
He came to my restaurant tonight.
There was debate among a few of us as to if it was actually him, but it turns out one of my co-workers is a huge Moby fan and informed us that he's playing in Toronto in a few days and was on The Hour tonight and when we pointed him out, he knew it was him. We could tell we knew it was him because his face went super red and he got all excited.
... and the fact that he told us he knew it was him.
w00t... Moby.
He really does just look like a dorky lookin' bald guy with glasses.
I'm a member of the YMCA. Gettin' into shape.
I am thinking of getting a haircut soon.
... that's about it :).
G'Bye for now.
Sunday, February 24, 2008
2:21AM - I got a raise.
I wrote a few paragraphs about this, but just erased them. It's a boring story, but a neat tidbit. So now I re-write.
Previously, whenever I was about to ask for a raise my boss would beat me to the punch and gave me a raise for less than I intended to ask for. Not wanting to sound/feel ungrateful I never pushed them to give me more.
I was going to ask my boss for a fifty cent raise on Friday. When my boss asked to speak to me in the office I was afraid she beat me to the punch again. She gave me a dollar raise. I quickly jumped from being disappointed to trying to act casual despite being really excited.
I totally played it cool.
tiredTuesday, February 19, 2008
2:32AM - 123456789
No reason for the title. It's late, I'm tired and it just came to mind.
When I arrived at work today I could tell something was up. I wasn't about to let anyone or anything ruin my Family Day though so I concentrated mostly on sipping my chocolate milk. The milk mustache couldn't disguise me from my boss though, they asked me to join them in the office. This morning I woke up unsettled. I thought I might have accidentally left something out of the fridge last night - I was afraid that's why they asked to speak to me (it's kind of a big deal).
Turns out Wenbo (a co-worker everyone hates) was fired due to being a prick.
We celebrated at the restaurant. Nafia made some delicious potato-carrot soup, I added a side of garlic spaghetti and Nancy threw in some fresh strawberries for dessert. When Dustin found out Wenbo was fired his eyes got all bright and like a little child on Christmas morning he said "It's a Family Day miracle!" It was one of the funniest things I've heard in a while.
It's generally great news, except it really fucks with my plans to visit Ottawa.
I had been tentatively planning a trip to Ottawa and it was in it's final stages and about to become official. Now I have to work six days a week for a little bit until things are settled and Andrew is able to step up and fill in for Wenbo (provided he's able to and we don't need to hire someone new - but I think he'll be alright). I'm sorry guys, my trip to Ottawa is going to have to wait a little bit. I spoke to my boss about that and they promised to do what they could... which isn't much right now, but I'll hound 'em about it until the earliest possible time I can leave.
Wish me luck.
P.S.
The newest Tegan and Sara album (The Con) is pretty good. I've been a fan of their for a while now but every time they've released an album since If It Was You I've just assumed it was bad only to eventually warm up to it. I think I'm committed now. I'll be looking forward to their next release and keep my mind open to what they produce.
tiredMonday, February 18, 2008
3:00AM - Happy Family Day!
In Alberta and Ontario, today is Family Day. A similar statutory holiday has been implemented in different parts of Canada and around the world. The name kind of speaks for itself. It speaks of a celebration that really has nothing to do with the holiday. Workers wanted another day off. Mr. Dalton McGuinty promised to add another holiday if he was re-elected. Now we have a Family Day.
I'm not angry about it, I mean, a day off for a lot of workers is great, but the name bothers me a little. Both parents are generally required to work more hours, technology keeps us apart, and we're mostly all just jaded to the idea of family activities. The 'family' still exists to some people... but having a 'family day' sure isn't going to bring it to those who don't have it. For those who do have it, they don't need a day to bring the unit together.
We should re-name it Dalton McGuinty day.
He gave the people another day off. That's all it is. Why not just name it after him?
boredTuesday, February 12, 2008
11:13PM - More dreams.
I've noticed recently that whenever I have a dream about a past event, or seeing someone that isn't here in Toronto, the dream takes place in Pickering. More specifically they take place in like, one block of the city. It's a pretty strange phenomena and I don't really know how to explain it.
For twenty years of my life 'visiting my old home' meant going to Pickering, but I haven't considered that my home for ages. My old home now is Ottawa... so I guess mentally I'm still bridging the gap... or something to that effect.
In other news though, I've also noticed that I'm timid in my dreams.
... even when I consciously know they're dreams.
complacentFriday, February 8, 2008
12:03PM - A Dream
I grew up in a small city (just became a city in 2000) just outside of Toronto, called Pickering. I moved to Ottawa halfway through grade 5. There are plenty of worse times to move away from somewhere, but I've always felt that the timing of when I did was pretty unique. I was old enough to have started establishing real friends, but still young enough that we only really hung out at school. There was a girl that I had my first crush on. Everyone was getting to be old enough that each person was developing into an individual character, rather than another nose-picking kid. Then right as everyone was coming into their own I moved to Ottawa.
I moved again from Ottawa to Hull at the beginning of grade 7, but to me that seemed like a much more reasonable time. I'm not quite sure why... maybe it's that everyone is going to a new school, maybe something to do with everyone being old enough that it's easier to make friends, just sociologically I think me being at that age at that time just made it easier to handle.
Either way, I've often found myself wondering what it would be like to see all the people I knew in elementary school. I'm curious, but at the same time not nearly driven enough to actually do anything about it. I've browsed facebook and found a number of them and a lot of them look to have become pretty interesting characters but I mean... how would you feel if that kid who moved away in grade 5 said hello? I think I remember them far more than they do me. To them, I was just someone who left, that happens when you're growing up... but to me they were everyone I knew and then for a few months I didn't know anyone at all.
In any case I had a really neat dream last night. It was pretty simple, but my perception in the dream is what made it pretty fun.
Basically, I moved back to Pickering. I think I was old enough for it to be mid-way or even towards the end of High School, but for some reason in the dream it was still at my old elementary school and all the people that were there in elementary school were still there, no new people, and all the same teachers. As for my perception, this dream would have taken place in... roughly, 2004? Whatever year high school would have fallen under... but my mind wasn't that of the 2004 Evan, it was the one of today.
I remember how I felt most of the time I was in high school, but the person I was in this dream wasn't that person. In high school, although I did have a level of confidence, it was a damn awkward one. I was shy, quiet, and generally really uncomfortable 95% of the time. In my dream... I just felt a lot more self-assured. I'm still quiet, but I'm not exactly shy, I'm confident, but I'm not nearly as uncomfortable all the time. On top of all that, the Evan in the dream, the 2004 Evan had the knowledge of the 2008 Evan, as if I went back in time.
My mother dropped me off for school and before getting out of the car I looked at her and said "This is going to be awkward."
She laughed and wished me luck. I figured no one would remember me at this point, so my gameplan was to casually walk to the office, get my schedule, find out where I needed to be and just go there without raising a fuss. I didn't even make it inside the school before the first person hesitantly asked "... Evan...?"
It was followed by "Holy crap!" and she grabbed me by the arm and paraded me through the school subjecting all of my peers to the game of "Guess who this is!? Can you tell!?"
Throughout the day I sat down with each person I remember from elementary school, there are not many, maybe only a dozen, but they were all present in the dream, and each one of them grew in their own unique way.
I'm not the type of person to believe dreams always have a point, but this dream did a good job of showing me how much I've grown over the years. Walking down halls in high school was an uncomfortable experience for me, I usually had my head down and just sped through. In my dream I stood comfortably and tall.
calmThursday, February 7, 2008
1:34AM - Update
There has been conflict inside of me for the past few months. It was around last fall (maybe even late summer) when it was first brought to my attention and has been an issue since then. I've been considering it from many different angles and have yet to come to any kind of conclusion.
The problem is that Marisa and Alex intend to move to Montreal, and I'm not sure if I will be joining them or not.
I don't do this often, but for this post I'll wear my heart on my sleeve.
Right now, I feel as though if I were to flip a coin and have it land on the Montreal side, I'd demand it be best two of three. I've weighed the pros and cons, and I'm not even sure if Toronto is the greater of the two, but some part of me seems to prefer it. At least enough to make it a tough decision. I've just been kind of waiting, hoping that something will come in and definitely push me into one direction or the other. There is still time for me to make my decision, so I feel no rush, but the whole thing has me in a bit of a knot every night before going to sleep.
I have a lot of friends, some of my best friends living in Montreal, and others who are planning to move there. I've been out of touch with a lot of them for some time and being with them again would be incredible. There is also a wealth of new people to meet as friends have already established themselves there and have made new friends.
The cost of living in Montreal is far less than it is in Toronto.
It's also a much more beautiful city.
Here in Toronto, I've been establishing some new friends.
I've also found the best job I've ever had. I've worked there for almost a year and I think I've only missed three days (for anyone who knows how much time I missed in high school you know how fucking insane that is). This is the biggest thing keeping me in Toronto. I really don't believe I'd be able to find a better job in Montreal or one that I enjoy nearly as much.
I don't like that french is the primary language of Montreal.
I don't like that someone came up to me today at the streetcar stop and said "Hey man, I just got out of jail for something I didn't do. Do you have a couple of bucks so I can take a bus home?"
I don't like idea of re-rooting myself again.
I don't like that poo smell this city often gets during the spring and summer on random street corners.
There is one major problem though.
What would Toronto be like without Alex and Marisa?
These days, I really don't see a lot of those two. I leave for work before Alex gets home and am back when he's in bed. Marisa follows the same sleep schedule and I'm not usually one for hanging out in the morning (just a little before noon) when I wake up. We do hang out every now and then though, even if it's just for a short conversation, or having Alex help me put together my computer desk, or adventuring to Ikea with Marisa...
There's no doubt I'd miss them, but it's just a question of how much I would.
Even though we hardly see each other any more I'm afraid their absence will be far greater than I give it credit. I give the title of best friend to a group of people, they're two among that group, and the only two in Toronto. Although there are developing friendships I don't really know what to expect from them.
...
Before I started writing this entry I was leaning towards Toronto.
I think I just made matters worse, now I'm not so sure.
P.S.
I played in three poker tournaments tonight.
The first one was a 1vs1 tournament for $100. I won that.
The second was a 20 person tournament, $20 buy-in. I finished second. Won $100.
The third was a 20 person tournament, $8 buy-in. I won that. Won $64.
In roughly three hours I just made as much as I do in a week of work... :)
relaxedThursday, January 31, 2008
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
4:18AM - Online Poker
I've been playing a lot of online poker lately.
I started with $50 about two months ago, in the course of a day or two I made it up to around $150, then lost all my profit. After making my profit I found that I changed my style of play. It became play money in my mind and I basically threw it away. I didn't quite trust myself to keep playing if I maintained that mentality.
A few weeks later I decided I should try playing again. I wrote a few notes to myself on a piece of paper to be left in front of my monitor. Reminders.
At the very top of the list was the most important piece of advice "Don't be an idiot."
You'd be surprised how often I needed to be reminded of that wonderful idea. Throwing money seems like a great idea until I realized it was retarded...
I threw the paper out a few days ago and don't remember the other notes (something about not playing a bigger tables than the .50/1 game was second though).
In any event, that $50 I started with has blossomed greatly. For a while I was on the verge of breaking $400 up until a few weeks ago when I payed off all my credit card bills.
The last poker tournament I played I finished third. It was just with friends here in our apartment, but I was a little disappointed in myself, but it helped me to really learn how much of a difference there is between online poker and real life poker. Or, more specifically online poker ring games (the standard game) and tournament style poker.
For online poker I've established a pretty sound strategy for grinding out my money. I don't push hard, even when I have powerful hands, and I fold quickly, even if I might have a chance to take the pot. It's not exactly a glamorous way to play, but it suits me just fine and if I'm patient enough to stick on a lower table for a few hours a night I can easily make $20-40 a night.
The problem though is that I'm not always so patient.
Every night I'd start at a small table (.05/.10) until I made about $20 profit, then I'd switch to a bigger table (like .50/1). Often the money would disappear pretty quickly (as everyone else starts with $100, and that gives them the advantage), but I'd say close to 1/3 of the time I end up making a profit, a fair sized one. I'll lose $20 twice then make $100. Those are the ring games. You join the game with as much as you want (or the limit as some tables have) and play for however long suits you. The blinds don't go up.
Then there is tournament play.
Blinds go up, and you don't stop playing until one person has all the chips.
There is more luck involved in tournament play because those who become chip leader the fastest have the edge. I'm pretty good at tournament play (I won three games with friends in a row... I was damn proud! :-P) but there really isn't any kind of consistent strategy that you can apply (like my grinding it out in the ring games).
Online there are different settings for the tournament play, and one of the settings is number of people, and there are a number of 2 person games... which I've REALLY fallen for.
The idea is simple. You pay whatever the buy-in is, sit down at a table with your opponent, are alloted whatever the starting chip count is (usually around $1200-1500) and you play until someone is out of chips. The entire game is such a dramatic experience. I just finished one about fifteen minutes ago and my heart is still pounding.
Anyway, the point of this post is that gambling is bad, don't do it.
... :)
The second point of the post is that in that last 1vs1 tournament I just finished, the buy-in was $100.
I just made $100 in a half hour.
Goodnight.
goodWednesday, January 23, 2008
10:54PM - Spam Poetry
I'm not sure if everyone got them, I know Phil did, but a few years ago there were a number of random e-mails sent out. They seemed to just be a jumble of words, but there was obviously some kind of formula to them that always made them flow (despite not making any sense).
For some reason I stopped receiving them, and with all the spam filters we have these days I just assumed there would be no more spam poetry...
I was wrong.
turn signal sanitize starlets of movie theater and haunches sublime inexorably starts reminiscing about lost glory
movie theater learn a hard lesson from living with turn signal and starlets polite slyly wakes up
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